


If You've Got a Degree

by Chash



Series: Heaven Help the Ones Who Know [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Academia, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Minor Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: Since Murphy wasn't really planning on going to grad school, he also wasn't planning on leaving grad school, or having a career, or really anything about his future.Unfortunately, time keeps passing anyway, so he's graduating, and he needs to do something else with his life.





	If You've Got a Degree

**Author's Note:**

> Fill for [thebluestgansey](https://thebluestgansey.tumblr.com/)!

If Murphy had his way, he’d never actually leave grad school.

It’s not so much that grad school is so great and more that once he leaves grad school, he needs something else to do, and that’s a terrifying prospect. He’s pretty sure he doesn’t have a future in academia, not with how much better everyone else in academia is at the whole thing than he is, and he can’t just coast on Jaha thinking he’s brilliant forever. And if he’s not in academia, he doesn’t know what else to do. Somehow, horrifyingly, that’s all he knows.

“Maybe a self-help book,” says Emori. “Isn’t that how people with philosophy degrees and no other skills make money?”

“I think we just starve to death,” he says, staring up at the ceiling. He doesn’t  _want_  to have an existential crisis, but it might be unavoidable.

“I still don’t know why you’re so convinced you can’t get a job here,” Emori says. “Jaha isn’t the only one in the department who likes you.”

“Yeah, but can you imagine me as a teacher? Fuck, I don’t want to have the read the bullshit  _I_  write, fuck student papers. TAing was a nightmare, and I don’t want to publish research.”

“If only they had an open position for a visionary.”

“I think that’s Jaha too.” He huffs. “You got an idea for that self-help book? I think it only works if I’m actually successful.”

“You have a PhD and minimal student debt. That’s success to many.”

“Probably better to just skip it and be a bartender,” he grumbles, and she kisses his forehead.

“We might be hiring.”

“Awesome, keep me posted.”

*

The thing is, Murphy understands his skills. He’s decent at bullshitting, and he’s not actually a bad writer. He’s definitely engaging, and people like listening to him talk. He’s not exactly competent, but he’s good at surviving. Grad school seemed like a good thing, but now he’s supposed to go into the world and use what he’s learned, except he hasn’t really learned anything, and he doesn’t have any more idea what he should be doing than he did when he decided he might as well get his PhD.

“This is going to sound extreme,” says Bellamy, “but did you think about asking Jaha?”

“How dare you,” he says, reflexive. Then he actually thinks about it. “Asking him what?”

“He’s your adviser. In theory, he’s supposed to help you get a job.”

“That sounds fake.”

Bellamy shrugs, easy. At this point, he’s basically the poster-boy for academic success: not only do he and Clarke both have jobs in their fields, and said jobs are close enough together that they’re on track to be married and start in on their future as functioning human beings in the next year or so. Bellamy even  _proposed_ , which, like, it’s not like either Murphy or Emori  _wants_  to get married, but he honestly wasn’t expecting Bellamy and Clarke to be so on top of this whole thing.

It’s not a competition, because their idea of a happy future is completely different from Murphy’s. But he’s used to being able to feel a lot more smugly superior to them, and having to admit they seem good while he’s struggling is kind of fucking with his head.

“I’m not saying it’s a miracle fix,” he says. “Honestly, I don’t know what kind of career advice Jaha would give. But if he wants to hire you, you probably want to find out about that now.”

“You think I could be a professor?”

He makes a face. “No. But I didn’t think you could get a PhD, I’m not counting anything out.”

At least his continued success upsets someone. That’s something he’s got going for him. “Guess it’ll at least be interesting,” he says. “Always wanted to know what Jaha actually thought I was going to do with all this shit.”

“If you find out, let us know,” Bellamy grumbles.

Murphy raises his glass. “There’s always drinking myself to death.”

“If that hasn’t killed you yet, it probably never will,” says Gina, as he drains it.0

“Not with that attitude it won’t,” says Emori, and refills his drink.

So at least she’s still on his side.

*

“So, I was wondering if you had any career advice,” Murphy asks. It’s probably the only practical thing he’s ever said to Jaha, and he doesn’t like it. They don’t have real conversations. Jaha drones and Murphy snarks. It’s a really good dynamic. “Since I’m graduating soon.”

“Oh, you won’t need a career,” says Jaha, which is honestly the most terrifying thing he’s ever said to Murphy. And that’s a fucking competitive category.

“I like having food and shelter,” he says.

“John, the end is coming. Soon enough, the entire nature of society will change. In the new world, you won’t need  _employment_.”

“Oh.”

“In the new world, people like us will–” he starts, and that’s a good sign that it’s safe for him to stop listening for a while. He nods and smiles and when he hears, “You should ask your girlfriend about this,” he makes a note to tell Emori that she’s still passing for a robot.

“Okay, so–great,” he says, once Jaha has finally wound down. “Really helpful. Thanks.”

“If you need a letter of recommendation in the meantime, just let me know,” he says, shockingly upbeat. He’s really excited for the robot uprising. “I’m always happy to help.”

“Yeah. Definitely want you vouching for me,” he mutters, and resists the urge to slam the door behind him.

*

It’s not as if Murphy is going to fall into immediate poverty once he’s done with school. Honestly, he’s still in pretty decent shape. He and Emori have a crappy apartment that suits them fine, and he’s still got his odd assortment of part-time jobs, including one he’s picking up at the bar. He’s going to get by.

But there is this weird, annoying, stubborn part of him that thinks he should be using his degree, and that  _sucks_.

“It’s not like I wanted it,” he tells Emori and Gina. “Like, fuck, I was just doing it because I didn’t have anything better to do.”

“You were not,” says Emori. It’s one of the problems with actually having a girlfriend who gets him. “You wanted to prove you could do it, and you did.”

“I did, yeah. So now what?”

“I think you should become a YouTube personality,” says Gina. “That seems like a good fit for you.”

“Huh. I’m listening. Tell me more. What do I do as a YouTube personality?”

“Get high and talk about your thesis, like always.”

“How does that make money?”

“Set up a Patreon,” says Emori.

He shrugs. “What the hell, can’t hurt. Add it to the list.”

*

Murphy doesn’t really have much by way of family, and while he could theoretically invite his racist grandma to his graduation, he’d rather just go on never speaking to her because she’s a fucking asshole. And not in the cool way like he is.

So, instead, he will be celebrating his graduation with his ragtag group of asshole friends, and he’s a little bit emotional about it.

It’s the worst.

Bellamy, being a cook, an officially sanctioned adult, and the most mom-like person Murphy has ever met who is not actually anyone’s biological mother, is making dinner, and everyone else is bringing booze, and they’re having a big party to celebrate the fact that Murphy has somehow conned his way into a graduate degree. So long as he can avoid any accidental, unintentional displays of emotion, he should be fine.

The last thing he wants is for any of his friends to realize he values and loves them.

“If I start getting weird, I need you to take me out,” he tells Emori. “I assume you have tranq darts on you.”

“I have mace.”

“Close enough. If it seems like I’m going to say anything nice to anyone, just mace me.”

“How nice is nice?”

“I trust your judgement.”

“Well, that’s your first mistake,” she says, bright. “I am happy for you, John. I’m glad you were able to do this.”

“Yeah, me too. Now I just have to do something else.”

“Until my kind take over and you become our slaves,” she says, grinning.

“Yeah, do you have a date for that or anything? It would be great if I could plan around the robot uprising.”

“When you least suspect it,” she says.

“Fuck, then it’s never going to happen.”

All of the gang who could make it is at Bellamy and Clarke’s, which is a pretty decent number. They’ve dwindled in numbers over the years, as people have graduated and moved away, but they still have a pretty strong core friend group, and they’ve all come together to celebrate him.

Which is why he needs Emori on mace duty. It’s a very risky situation, emotionally speaking.

Clarke opens the door with an open bottle of whiskey in her hand. “For you,” she says. “You’re graduating, we figured you’d want to just drink directly from the bottle.”

“I want to do that when I’m not graduating,” he points out. But he does take the bottle and take a swig, because that’s what he’s about. “This is actually good whiskey.”

“It’s almost like we’re friends,” says Clarke. “Come on in.”

Miller and Monty are already around, with Gina and Raven on their way. It’s a smaller, more manageable group of people than they’ve had in the past, and it feels like the one that might stick. Couples are easier, it feels like, and they’re all pretty motivated to stay together and in the same place.

He takes another sip of whiskey. These are the thoughts he doesn’t need to be having. Not when alcohol exists.

“I’m going to go help Bellamy in the kitchen,” says Emori. “John, if you need to be maced, just yell.”

Clarke raises her eyebrows, and he shrugs it off. “Inside joke. Monty’s got video games?”

“Lots of video games.”

“Awesome. Thanks for having a party for me,” he adds, against his better judgement. “This is cool.”

“Bellamy’s head might actually explode when you get your diploma,” she says. “So we’re celebrating now.”

“Before he dies?”

“Eat, drink, and be merry,” she agrees. “Video games are in the living room.”

And that’s how it goes. He takes his whiskey and plays Mario Kart with his friends, and everyone swears a lot and drinks a lot, and once the food is done they eat a lot, and at the end of the meal, toasts go around in his honor. Clarke and Bellamy present him with a lifetime achievement award for worst adviser, and Monty plays a song he made with autotune and the best of Jaha’s weird voice messages.

He might say a few kind words himself, even. His breath might even hitch.

“You were supposed to mace me,” he tells Emori, on their way back. Everyone  _hugged_  when they were leaving. It was a lot.

“I was,” she says, completely unrepentant. “I didn’t. It was a nice evening. You like our friends, and I’m happy for you.”

“Jesus. Maybe I should mace you.”

She smiles, squeezes his hand. “It won’t happen again,” she promises. “Just this once.”

*

“So, I’m graduating now, you can tell me,” says Murphy. “This is all an act, right?”

Jaha blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“You had something else going on, right? You’re not actually like this.”

“I don’t know what you mean, John.”

“Do you really think I’m a philosophical genius, or was this some weird prank? Is this a  _She’s All That_  deal? One of the other professors made a bet with you?”

“Of course not. All I wanted was for you to realize your potential.”

“Yeah? How’d that go?”

“I consider you one of my great successes.”

“As long as you’re happy.” He shrugs, feeling a little awkward. “Thanks, I guess. For everything. This was–cool.”

“I look forward to meeting you again in the new world,” Jaha says, and offers his hand.

There’s nothing to do but shake it.

“May we meet again,” he says, and that’s it.

He gets his diploma and hangs it on the wall behind the desk in the living room, where he’s been filming his new YouTube series, “Dr. John Murphy’s Guide to the Robot Apocalypse.” Some people in the comments have been doubting his credentials, and he’s looking forward to rubbing it in their faces.

And, he has to say, it looks good up there. Like it really belongs.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Podfic - If You’ve Got a Degree (Chash)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13527006) by [gingermaggiereads (gingermaggie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingermaggie/pseuds/gingermaggiereads)




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